Marriage is hard. Marriage is beautiful.
Joshua and I had a little tiff this morning… maybe you would call it a spat or just a plain old argument. I have been under the weather the past few days, tired and in recovery mode from a pretty bad cold and sinus infection. TMI? He has had quite a bit on his mind with the new church facility and honestly, just trying to be everything for everyone. Essentially… it’s called living life. One small sentence can lead to an argument and a ruined day when you are tired or when you are battling other battles in your life. If left unchecked… it leads to what I call the ‘snowball affect’. A snowball by itself isn’t so bad. Multiply those snowballs and it can deliver a blow that feels like an avalanche. Small offenses, arguments, insecurities, lack of intimacy, unkind words, missed opportunities, neglect… the list can go on. These are battles that we face daily in our marriage… and not just in marriages that are on the brink of disaster. These are every day choices. We need to wake up and realize that the enemy is against our marriage. It’s time to stop giving him ammunition.
That is why a man leaves his father and mother
and is united with his wife, and they become one.
(Good News Translation)
Don’t you be against your marriage too.
Joshua left to take the kids to school. My parting words were not kind. His opening words were not kind. We both were wrong. Here is where you have a choice… to collect those snowballs for a later time or to ask the Holy Spirit to thaw your heart and you forgive quickly and move forward in love and grace.
The love of Jesus is always the way to victory and freedom.
We quickly responded in love and forgiveness. Joshua and I both hate to argue. Snowballs in the face are the worst. An avalanche of snowballs is not even an option. I’ll admit, I had about 5 minutes of planning the silent treatment for Joshua today. Anyone that knows me… knows I can’t be silent for longer than five minutes at a time, so it wouldn’t have lasted anyway. I am the communicator of the family. So, I asked the Lord to help me share my feelings with Joshua in the right way. God’s way. I apologized. I asked God to forgive me and I asked for His help to not act like a crazy woman with my husband.
I am accountable to the Lord in how I love my husband.
That’s huge. Just take a moment and think on that.
Now, I move forward. I already gave it to the Lord… it doesn’t belong to me any longer. Let it go. Stop thinking about it. Renew your mind to God’s Word.
In moving forward, God wants to give us wisdom to not be a repeat offender. This is why we pray for wisdom in our marriage. This is why we listen to the Holy Spirit and spend time knowing God’s voice. It’s choosing to grow in Christ. There are times when I begin a conversation with Joshua where I realize that I should’ve just prayed about it and that the conversation is going to end in an argument. I’ll say out loud, “Reset! We are going to reset right now and move forward. I should not have brought that up in the first place and it’s not worth going any further.” I call this the reset button. It’s worth using.
It’s in full surrender that we see the greatest victory.
When Joshua and I married, we united together to become one. This is a covenant under God. What hurts me, hurts him and what hurts him, should hurt me. Joshua likes to say. “That we are on the same team and that means we need to be each other’s biggest fan!” When a problem arises we have the opportunity for God to be glorified through our response to one another and for the enemy to be silenced.
God didn’t create marriage for us all to fail. He loves your marriage and He loves you. God restores. God repurposes. God makes all things new. Making Jesus Lord over your marriage is choosing love and forgiveness in the good, the bad and the ugly. Make a spiritual stand today. Submit yourself to God’s plan. Resist the urge to quit, complain and fall numb to intimacy today in Jesus name. Ask God for help. Pray about everything!!! Surrender your will to His will. Take authority over your marriage in Jesus name and use it. Take the cotton wads of complaining out of your ears and listen to what the Holy Spirit is speaking to you today. The Holy Spirit is cheering your marriage on, convicting you of sin, guiding you in truth and giving you power to live for Jesus. Choosing to hear and do today will lead to beautiful fruit in your already blessed marriage.
Throw the snowballs down and go heat one another up. Yup, I said it. Get to it. Make it happen. Fight for your marriage today.
Three take aways from this devotion that you can apply today:
Together in Christ – Anna